Excerpts from Testimony of Existo — House Un-American Activities Committee

MR. STRIPLING: The next witness, Mr. Chairman. is Mr. Existo.

CHAIRMAN THOMAS: Raise your right hand…just your right hand. You do solemnly swear the testimony you are about to give is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

EXISTO: I do.

CHAIRMAN THOMAS: Are you now or have you ever been a Communist?

EXISTO: Occasionally. I go back and forth on it. Sometimes they make sense to me, but other times I think they’re just plain rude to Capitalists. Some of my best friends are Capitalists.

CHAIRMAN THOMAS: Are you now, or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party?

EXISTO: Yes, but I quit.

CHAIRMAN THOMAS: Why did you quit?

EXISTO: The anarchists had better hors d’oeuvres.

CHAIRMAN THOMAS: When were you a member of the Communist Party?

EXISTO: Right before I quit.

CHAIRMAN THOMAS: Can you give me a date, Mr. Existo?

EXISTO: It would never work out—you're a Ku Klux Klanner and I'm an occasional Communist.

MR. STRIPLING: How well do you know Mr. Brecht?

EXISTO: He sucked my dick just before we came in here. I'm not proud of that, sir.

CHAIRMAN THOMAS: Order…order please!

EXISTO: I’ll have whatever the Chairman is having.

MR. STRIPLING: This is the United States Congress, Mr. Existo!

EXISTO: Oops. Boy is my face red. I mean…PINK! I mean…RED WHITE AND BLUE! (singing) I’m a yankee doodle dandy, yankee doodle do or die…

CHAIRMAN THOMAS: Sit down, Mr. Existo! Sit down! Order! Order!

Marshal's Civil Docket No. 4203, Vol. 69, Page 96